Positive Signs and Black Ham
by TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco
Summary: K so this is an Em/Ham one shot, based off my own fanfic titled "My Cahill Life". It was written by my sis who has never read T39C or My Cahill Life. Read at your own risk. Rated T for swearing and other T-rated themes. Uhm. This story is kinda confusing but it's hilarious I promise. Okay. Go read it.


**Omfg okay so my sister (who has never read T39C or my own fanfics) decided to write an Emma/Hamilton one shot. Emma is a character from my fanfic "My Cahill Life". So anyways she doesn't want me to post this but I'm kind of evil so I'm posting it anyways. **

**WARNING :: THIS IS A VERY RETARDED WORK OF FANFICTION. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. **

**REMINDER:: THE AUTHOR OF THIS FANFIC (not me, my sister) HAS NEVER READ THE 39 CLUES. **

**DISCALIMER :: I don't own t39c or their characters, only my own.**

* * *

Emma's POV

I looked down, not at my new Steve Madden heels (which were totally fabulous), but at the pregnancy test. This pregnancy test was mine and it had a fucking positive sign.

What the hell was I supposed to do? How will Hamilton react? Oh my gosh is it even his?

Okay, that's just stupid. Now I'm just worrying over pointless things.

But I am not supposed to be having a damn child now! Hamilton is going to freak!

Suddenly I saw spots and darkness took over.

What the fuck? I rubbed my throbbing head.

"Emma... What the heck is this?" Dan's voice startled me.

"Oh, yeah. I am fine, thanks for asking" I muttered and stood up.

There Dan was, holding my pregnancy test.

"I peed on that" I told him with a smile.

"O-M-G! That's totally disgusting Emma! Could you not have told me sooner?" He shrieked, dropping it instantly.

Did Dan go gay within a matter of hours? Dude, you're a dude. And when the hell do you ever say OMG?

I picked it up and looked at it with a sigh. So it wasn't some nightmare.

"That does mean you're pregnant, right?" Dan asked slowly.

"Yes-"

"Oh my God! EMMA YOU'RE FREAKING PREG-" He started to yell.

I slammed my hand over his mouth, "Don't yell it out to the fucking world" I told him sternly.

I took my hand off his mouth.

"Pregnant!" He finished with a whisper.

"Yeah, I am. Now shut up and you better not tell anyone" I crossed my arms.

"I won't, everyone's asleep anyways" He shrugged.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"3am" Dan answered.

"I'm going to sleep. If you tell anyone Daniel, you will not live to see another day" I smiled and walked into my room.

I changed into my silk pajama's quickly before slipping into the bed, falling asleep instantly.

~

Hamilton decided we should do something today, just is two. It ended up being dinner because I slept in until 4 in the afternoon.

He was cooking dinner, which would be interesting to see.

I walked in and smiled at him, plopping myself down on the counter.

"Smells good" I complimented.

"I hope it stays that way" He laughed.

I licked my lips. I have yet to tell him I have a kid growing inside of me.

I picked up one of the frozen peas he was about to cook.

"You know what's hilarious?" I started.

"What?" Hamilton asked with a goofy smile before continuing to cook.

"Our baby is only the size of this pea right now" I replied, eyeing him.

"That is funny- Woah. Hold the damn phone. You're pregnant?" He asked wide eyed.

"Um, yeah" I whispered, not wanting him to get made. I looked down at my hands.

"Aw, hell naw girlfrand! I ain't dealing with a baby now! Uh huh! No way in hell, bitch. We're through! Good luck finding someone as fucking fab as me" Hamilton exclaimed.

I looked up and suddenly he was a black man. Then a pink unicorn came down and he rode away on it.

~

What the fuck?

I woke up with a sigh of relief once I realized it was just a dream. What of Ham did react that way? Just more like himself.

"Hamilton I'm fucking pregnant!" I yelled, surprising myself.

"Again, babe?" He asked, coming out of the bathroom.

"What do you mean again?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

That's when I noticed kids all around us, dangling from the roof and lying on the floor. They were fucking everywhere!

I screamed, probably deafening Hamilton.

"What's wrong?"

~

"What's wrong? Emma?" Hamilton was hovering above me.

I pushed him away with wide eyes.

"If you turn into a black man again I swear-"

"A black man?" He broke into a laugh. "That's hilarious! Why were screaming during that amazing dream of yours?"

"Because I saw that we had, like, a billion kids!" I shouted, running my hands through my hair.

"A billion?" Hamilton questioned. I nodded. "Well, I want kids but not a billion"

"You want kids?" I asked, feeling relieved.

"Of course! Not right now though, maybe a few years" Be shrugged.

"Oh no.." I mumbled. "You know, you look very handsome today. That shirt is so nice! Your eyes look very bright today! Did you do something with your hair? I'm pregnant. You're muscles are looking large as always! Don't even get me started on-"

"You're pregnant?" He exclaimed.

I closed my eyes and nodded.

"Fuck you! Girlfrand, you crazy! White hoes these days.."

And black Hamilton was back.

~

I woke up and looked around.

"Emma, you're pregnant" Dan's mouth dropped as he stared at the pregnancy test.

"Um, yeah" I mumbled and took it from him.

"What do you think Hamilton's going to say?" He asked.

"Let's find out" I said, not wanting to deal with anymore black Hamilton.

I swear, if I see him again I am pretending I am not even pregnant. If I am. What if this is all a dream? One way to find out..

"Ham's asleep Emma" Dan warned.

"It's cool, the sooner the better" I walked away.

I woke up Hamilton by kissing him softly. He kissed back and I pulled away to see him smiling at me.

"What's up, babe?" He asked.

"Hamilton.. I'm kind of pregnant" I rushed out.

There were no words spoken, but he put his lips on mine.

"I love you, and it better be a boy" He joked.

I laughed, "I love you, too."

THE FUCKING END


End file.
